Finally, it's
the placement season around. The atmosphere is buzzing with students coming
from different corners, discussing the salaries the companies are willing to
shell out, their tests, preparations, expectations etc. People are all charged
up to take the challenge like never before and even the most inactive ones have
suddenly regained their lost vigour, treating these times as one of the most
important in their lives. But somewhere in this mad race, I see a sense of
desperation. The desperation to bag the highest salary, the desperation to get
placed in a reputable company as soon as possible, the desperation to beat the
shit out of the competition and 'excel' like never before. And it is this
desperation that I see in almost every pair of eyes that compels me to write
this post at the middle of the night, totally unplanned, maybe to deal with the
stress.
Yes, there is stress. But I myself fail to understand the
reason behind this stress. Well, I plan to study further and I am not exactly
required to do a job for some experience to put it in my CV. But then, when
getting a job is not the priority, then why is the stress level incrementing
day by day. One reason could be the fierce competition that is compelling you
to try harder and perform well, even if you aspire to get a decent salary job.
This could be one reason. But, there is a voice within that constantly denies
the urge to try harder and excel in the competition. And, the toughest part is
my inability to decipher what the voice stands for. But that is what the
post is for. To try and introspect, and help myself deal with stress that is
gnawing me from within.
When I entered into this institution, I had a dream. The
dream of doing something big. As the saying goes, 'it's your life, make it
large' . The dream of finding a ladder to eternally kick the mediocrity from
life, the dream of rising way above all, the dream of finding yourself working
so hard, that even God will be compelled to grant whatever I strive for. And it
wasn't only the hard work, for me, the direction too was important. A self-made
business empire, established by the tonnes of assiduity, both physical and
mental, becoming a constant source of inspiration, for multitudes of
individuals like me. Yes, that is what has been the constant source of
inspiration for whatever I have ever achieved in life and this is what I have
always stood for. I am not exactly lionising my achievements or progress, but
this is how I exactly felt when I set out to attempt an examination or even the
most trivial aspects of my career like studying a new subject. The idea that
each and every moment of work will have its own share of contribution in what a
person I aspire to be, was the major driving force that kept me motivated
throughout.
But suddenly, or you may call it over a span of four years,
the vision has been shallowed, and sadly for the worse. Today, I see myself
running for companies like a blind horse, irrespective of their nature of work,
ethics, salary. I see myself blindly following the race to grab an opportunity
for the highest paying company, not matter what I may have to do for it. Not
only that I dislike it, I have a deep seated hatred for it. And in the process,
I have lost track of my so-called vision with which I entered into this
institution. This is, indeed the bitter truth.
So, why am I doing all this if I don't have any sort of
inclination towards it ? Even I specifically don't know what is it that is
pushing me to do it. Money ain't the factor at all. Dream, nah! Maybe a
societal pressure to follow the path that is everyone following. Or maybe the
lack of confidence or fear or a lack of foolproof plan that is holding me from
within from doing stuff that I so eagerly intent to do. Maybe it's the company
of people around who have made the task of building something on your own, look
like such a mammoth task that it now looks like a mountain to my inner
conscience as well. Maybe it is the lack of societal appreciation that
usually accompanies people with fresh jobs and comes at a later stage to people
with a different vision in mind. Whatever may be the reason, the truth is that
in the process of running a blind race, the fire that resides within, to make
the best out of your life, is extinguishing. And that's happening fast. Or
maybe the placement session is God's own way of reminding myself that there is
something to look beyond and achieve. Maybe it is His way of removing the
invisible yet opaque band that deprives me of my vision to carve out a path of
my own, which will ultimately lead to a place that I have always worked for.
Yes, the time has come to shun away the complacent and limited side of yours
and to rekindle the fire within.
Indeed, the time has come!
